Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
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I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
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She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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