i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
