Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
