Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
