I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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