she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
How naked do you want me to be?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
