47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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