I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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