I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
