just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
