I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Shame - the story of my life.
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