I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
