Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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