I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
