He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I can't put those talents on a resume
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I just forgot I was standing up.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
