Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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