Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Randomize
