I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
