i'm signing you up for texting rehab
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
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