No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
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