Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
