Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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