And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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