It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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