Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Randomize
