You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
