I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
