My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
