I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
