In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
