sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Randomize