he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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