I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
