a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
