toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
