i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We are two peas in an std pod
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Text me some of your sweat
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
