I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
