FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
