That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
