I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
