What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
