id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
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