Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Randomize
