she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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