you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
