At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
