so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
