i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
