Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
