so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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