there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
