u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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