Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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