Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
