You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Come on in and take your pants off
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