There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
