I cut my penus on the lid.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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