Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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