i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
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