i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
