I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Holy sore nipples Batman
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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