Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
It's rum buckets o'clock
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
